We are more than just an Elevator

So its been a little while since I posted a blog; I've been a pretty busy, with the boyfriend, work, family, and other things. I felt like today I was just going to blog; about a few things on my mind. You know when you start a new relationship you are so taken by everything they do, say, and bring to the relationship. There's so many positive and/or great things that come from a new relationship; I've learn so much about Ramone; and there is still so much more than I will learn with time. But with that being said there's also learn those little things that bother him and bother me; the things that might get us mad/upset. The disagreements between us is what I dislike the most; and most of the time its over stupid stuff but we get caught up in the moment; by that we realize we are both already upset. Everyone knows I'm a big Pussycat Dolls fan; I've listen to their song "Elevator" over a million times but never really put much thought into it. But a few weeks ago; I actually paid attention to the lyrics and it was exactly how I had been feeling and at the moment still feel.

I love Ramone; I honestly really do. I've have a few number of relationships; I've been hurt, I've hurt, but I have never love like this. Only once did I think I was in love. But looking back at it; it wasn't in love. I was in love with the idea of being in love with someone; I truly love this guy, he makes me happy. But then there's times that a simple word, a sentence or look he does brings me down; and I know he doesn't mean to do that. That isn't his intention at all; but it just makes me feel so low. I don't know what it is but sometimes I still feel like he isn't 100% happy with me as a boyfriend; like the things I'm lacking he could easly find elsewhere. But he keeps telling me that there's no one else better for him; but he says things like: "I just want to get to know you, I feel like I still don't know you like your friends know you." "Cheer me up your my boyfriend..." "Open up to me..." "You aren't being yourself today..." or when he says that I take everything he says too serious; or "You honestly don't know how much I love you, you have no idea." That one hurts the most because me makes me feel like my love for him isn't as good as his love for me. But I mean I try to look at the positive; even though its hurtful in the moment; I see it as "This is just part of growing in a relationship; this is just a little rough start."

"Elevator" by: The Pussycat Dolls

"...Sometimes I think I'm so low
Think you don't want me no more
And I've gotta get up off this see-saw

Like an elevator, we go up,
and we go down Down, down,
like an elevator
We touch the sky and
touch the ground Ground, ground
like an elevator
You're stuck on one
while I'm pressing three
Then we end up on the fourth floor
And then we disagree
Then you keep on blamin' me
But I wish that you would see
that I'm just trying to elevate you
Like an elevator

And I feel like we're speaking two different languages
It's hard to read ya, read ya, read ya
But I know if you at least try to make it half way
I swear that I'll meet ya, meet ya, meet ya
But we can't have a conversation without beefing
Yellin' back and forth for no good reason
I won't let you leave
and you keep asking me to stay
One of us better figure out what we want
Cause I'm getting a headache, headache, headache

...Sometimes I think I'm so low
Think you don't want me no more
And I've gotta get up off this see-saw

Like an elevator, we go up,
and we go down Down, down,
like an elevator
We touch the sky and
touch the ground Ground, ground
like an elevator
You're stuck on one
while I'm pressing three
Then we end up on the fourth floor
And then we disagree
Then you keep on blamin' me
But I wish that you would see
that I'm just trying to elevate you
Like an elevator

Oh if there's any man who understands what I'm saying
Won't you help me Say yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh there's gotta be some women who feeling the way I'm feeling
Say yeah, yeah, yeah
I'll take the blame if it that'll make this road stop
I'll hold for you if we can make it to the top
But we gotta find a way to break down these walls baby
I'm waitin' on you, stop waitin' on me
Damn this elevator

We go up,
and we go down Down, down,
like an elevator
We touch the sky and
touch the ground Ground, ground
like an elevator
You're stuck on one
while I'm pressing three
Then we end up on the fourth floor
And then we disagree
Then you keep on blamin' me
But I wish that you would see
that I'm just trying to elevate you
Like an elevator."

I listen to this song today; on replay for over two hours and I noticed a verse in the lyrics "I'll take the blame if it that'll make this road stop. I'll hold for you if we can make it to the top. But we gotta find a way to break down these walls baby. I'm waitin' on you, stop waitin' on me. Damn this elevator." I know it will take time getting to know one another (even more.) I just hope that these disagreements would go away already but its part of a relationship; no couple is perfect. All I know is that "I love Ramone, he means the world to me and I can honestly say I've found my life long partner and I'm not letting him go and I won't let him get rid of me without a fight."